Weight loss: body, Mind, and Soul

by Melissa Konetchy

“Be soft with yourself.” The idea spoke to me, suddenly, and carried with it profound meaning. Don’t be so hard on yourself: be kind and gentle. It had never occurred to me that I didn’t love myself, but I discovered that I didn’t. But then as I set about to understand this statement, wonderful things began to happen. I started to learn what beauty is really about.

Let me back up a bit. By the time I reached college, I was just coming to terms with the idea that I had a feminine side. My grooming and dressing habits had improved, and for the first time ever, boys seemed to notice my existence. Around the same time, I noticed that my weight was fluctuating every few months. This initially led to some weight gain, then some severe weight loss, and finally weight re-gain.

A diligent and hardworking student, I just didn’t seem to have the energy or time to exercise. And I was so stressed about my academics that I tended to overcompensate for my lack of sleep by overeating. I couldn’t seem to find a balance. And what began as “lighthearted” self-teasing degraded into a perpetual banter of cutting insults about
how my figure was shaped. It was a good sign that I didn’t respect who I was.

One day, I thought about all of this self-scrutiny. If worth were dependent on looking like magazine models, there would be no hope for some people. But doesn’t everyone have worth, worth that has nothing to do with appearance? Einstein is not remembered for his physical charms, and the Bible doesn’t have so much as a description of Jesus’ looks. But both contributed to the world in big ways.

I realized that the real imbalance for me had nothing to do with what I was eating. My problem came with thinking that my body could be my source of beauty, happiness, belonging, and love. Under-eating and over-eating were merely symptoms of my imbalanced perspective about myself as God’s child. Mary Baker Eddy writes

The recipe for beauty is to have less illusion and more Soul, to retreat from the belief of pain or pleasure in the body into the unchanging calm and glorious freedom of spiritual harmony.

Well, I did want to be beautiful. But beauty, I was learning, was not dependent on a waist size. The most attractive qualities I could think of were maturity, unselfishness, grace, and happiness. Is there anything about looks in there? Nope.

I formulated a plan. I started to take a new look at myself, appreciating the beautiful attributes, such as color, creativity, exuberance, and humor. It was an active thing. I also began to make a point of acknowledging beauty in everyone with whom I came into contact. After a while I stopped worrying about what size my jeans were. Not long after, the extra weight just wasn’t there anymore.

I wasn’t trying to change myself to feel alright with who I was. I already felt alright. In fact, I was great! These days, I spend much less of my time and energy comparing myself to other women than I used to. I’m seeing that we all have beautiful colors, and they shine through our love and unselfishness. And this was the mental weight that was
lifted from my shoulders. The bonus? Once I learned to love other people more fully, my demeanor became lighter, too. It was a total transformation.

If you enjoyed this blog, you may be interested in reading “Is obesity contagious?” by Evan Melenbacher