by Casey Fedde
Hey guys! I’m Casey Fedde, and I’m working as an editorial assistant intern for spirituality.com this summer. Back home in California, I attend San Jose State University where I am majoring in English with a minor in journalism. While it’s hard to leave family and friends behind, it is an amazing opportunity to get to work at The Mother Church. And I still feel that love and support from all my loved ones cheering me on from home.
I set out on my summer adventure to Boston with three bags of luggage—two just barely under 50 pounds each filled with clothes and necessities; the third, a mental bag filled with an overflow of spiritual ideas—and boarded the plane. As I clicked my seatbelt together and pulled it snug, the pilot announced that due to bad weather the flight was canceled. Discouraged that my trip started off with an unexpected delay, I gathered my luggage and searched for a comforting thought from my spiritual suitcase.
I thought about the idea of trust in God that’s found in Proverbs,
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
I knew I needed to trust God and not to let anxiety win. My travel itinerary may not have gone according to plan, but I knew that God had my path mapped out for me, and I needed to trust that His plan was all good.After a red eye flight to Boston—yes, I finally made it here—I gathered my belongings, searched for a cab stand. I hopped into the first one available. “Do I need to tell you where I am going?” I asked the cab driver. “Well, I sure don’t know where you are going,” the cab driver replied in a heavy accent as he pulled away from the curb.
As my face turned red with embarrassment, I slid down in the seat and rattled off the street address, my home for the summer. I’m sure the driver was laughing at the young blonde in his back seat. But the point of my question was really to find out when he wanted me to tell him the address. I sure didn’t expect him to know where I was going! Still, the brief conversation made me realize that even though I didn’t know exactly where I was going, God did. I might have known the street address, but I didn’t know what was around the next corner—literally or figuratively.
Learning not to be held hostage by fear is sometimes a struggle. And following through with travel outside the confines of my sunny California comfort zone has been tough. But I am ready for this adventure.
It took a little push to get me on the plane, but look out, Boston, because here I am! And I am finding it easier than I thought to whip out a comforting thought from that spiritual suitcase I never set down. Patience, love, courage, and grace have all helped guide me around America’s Walking City.
I continue to trust God with each step of my adventure—“Love’s divine adventure” (The First Church of Christ, Scientist, and Miscellany, p. 158). Traveling cross-country to a city you have never been to takes more than just a plane ticket, food, and a place to shower and sleep. It takes trust and fearlessness. And I am trusting God as I navigate my new surroundings.
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How has the study of English literature added to your perceptions about Christian Science? Or vice versa?
I like this idea:
even though I didn’t know exactly where I was going, God did. I might have known the street address, but I didn’t know what was around the next corner—literally or figuratively.
I had never really connected my studies of English literature with CS before, but in some ways, it has impacted my perceptions of CS. MBE, living around the end of the transcendentalist movement, read more than just the Bible while thinking and praying about CS. In several letters and Prose Works, she quotes from Shakespeare, Longfellow, Emerson, Calderon (Spanish poet), Marion Boyd Allen, and others, which would bring a smile to any English major’s face. Shakespeare’s “to thine own self be true” appears in conjunction with MBE’s thoughts on being loyal to God and Jesus’ statement of casting out the beam from your own eye.
So, I now see CS as a religious direction that makes sense in the scheme of thinkers and movements in writing. MBE didn’t just come out of nowhere with some radical religious belief. She was inspired both by other writers and thinkers - and God. While the world (or most of it) continues to elevate “classic” authors, like Shakespeare, I can now elevate MBE and her writings and hold her work dear to my heart as a fine work of writing (and truth) and not just a book on CS. Studying English history has also led me to appreciate the Bible - the foundation of CS - as a great work of literature.
MBE did spend time, though, bashing Emerson - a favorite writer of mine - and his thinking. There is a letter she wrote about (or to?) him before he died that said he couldn’t be healed while he was thinking the way he was. Since I love Emerson’s writing, I cringed when I read this letter. I won’t hold grudges though against MBE…lol.
Food for thought: In researching MBE this summer for spirituality.com, I stumbled across something MBE said in a letter that I absolutely love: “Tis a TRUTH told in fiction, the ACTUAL personification of the Author’s life (or part of it).”
Thanks for your comments and questions! Keep ‘em coming…
Does the sentiment of “Tis a truth told in fiction….” mean that fiction or nonfiction is a better way to understand reality?
Emerson’s parting from Unitarianism, Thoreau’s Transcendentalism, Eddy’s Calvinism — what a collision during her era! Toss in Darwin and Marx and you’ve got quite a mental stew brewing. Is the difference between Eddy and Emerson perhaps how she and he dealt with the problem of evil? She didn’t ignore it; Emerson and Thoreau did???
You speak about traveling cross to country from California to Boston, MA. How do you deal with being away from your family and friends in California and issues related to being so far from ‘home’? Does your English major and writing skills help in dealing with being so far from home?
Hortencia, I think you hit the nail on the head. Emerson and Thoreau didn’t deal with evil and Eddy did. I think, though, there might be a bit more to it…I might have to do some more research! :o)
Well, Kelley, traveling cross-country to a city I have never been before to live and work with new people is tough. And being away from my family and friends is even tougher! Like I said, I am really wrapping myself up in the love and support from my family and friends. You don’t have to be in the same room with someone to feel that; plus, it works its way into phone conversations I have with them (I do call home a lot, although I am sure my mom doesn’t get tired of hearing my voice) and through letters and emails.
Writing has always been my outlet to express myself, so I have been writing a weekly or so travel journal that I email to all my family and friends. It is my way to help them experience what I am experiencing and to reminisce my adventures. It is almost as if they are here with me! So, in that aspect, my English studies and writing skills have helped me communicate to my loved ones as well as capture my trip in words (I am not much of a picture taker) even though I am far from my home state.
In all our daily unfoldments, we should always put God First and everything will work good according to His plans.I like this. “Learning not to be held hostage by fear.” As christian scientists we shoud always overcome this error.