by Shirley Paulson
I asked my Presbyterian friend if she remembered her first prayer. It turned into a great conversation with a fellow Christian. She answered that it was probably when she was about 3 or 4, and she loved remembering the way her mother gave her all her attention before she went to bed. Her mother taught her a traditional Christian prayer: “Now I lay me down to sleep; I pray the Lord my soul to keep.” Bed-time prayers were so special because she felt nourished and nurtured, loved, and safe.
I asked if she thought of prayer as something that offers security and safety, and comes surrounded in love? She said she hadn’t even thought of needing that connection, but that’s probably why we should pray. As she said, “We don’t even know what we need.”
When I told her I always come away from prayer feeling so loved by God, she was a bit surprised. As she explained, her experience with prayer usually involves her doing most of the talking. It’s only recently that she has learned she needs to get more quiet and do more listening.
From there, I described Mary Baker Eddy’s idea that it’s kind of pointless to stand in front of the blackboard and pray the principle of mathematics to solve its problems. It makes sense to think of ourselves learning the math-or the meaning of God’s love of the universe-rather than waiting for God to do as we ask. She could see the logic of that. But she was troubled with the implication that she had to learn everything in God’s kingdom, and that was too much to learn.
And then the next step in the conversation became apparent. I went back to her own point about the value of being more quiet and listening. God is perfectly ready to tell us what we need to know. Then she was interested in my first memory of praying, where God’s message to me in my prayer made me deeply conscious of Love; and how the little kitty I had prayed for was suddenly well.
I think prayer is a good topic for conversations with Christians, because we all respect prayer. But I’ve also noticed that sincere Christians often ask their professors in seminary, or their own pastors, “So, what do you really do when you pray?” Because praying can seem rather ambiguous or hazy even to devout Christians, they often welcome pondering some of the concepts from Mary Baker Eddy on the subject.
And, as in any good conversation, it’s important to listen and learn from the other person, even when we have good ideas to share. During the conversation with my friend, I loved hearing of her childlike willingness to learn how to practice more stillness. Also, the more we listen, the more easily we move the discussion away from conversation-killers. For example, understanding the mainstream Christian’s motives for prayer can help us relate more readily to where they’re coming from.
Here’s one point that has been helpful to me: A typical motive for prayer among mainstream Christians is generally to “lift up a concern” to God. A pray-er should unburden himself or herself with an issue by bringing it to God. The concept of God fixing things is rather foreign. Here’s the result of Beliefnet/Newsweek poll of a little over a thousand Americans, conducted in 2005-AUG.
One of the questions was: “What do you think is the most important purpose of prayer?”
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27%: To seek God’s guidance.
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23%: To thank God.
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19%: To be close to God or the divine.
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13%: To help others.
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9%: To improve a person’s life.
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4%: Other purposes.
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5%: Don’t know
The idea of prayer for healing often sounds selfish to most Christians, like merely asking God for privileged favors. And yet we can relate to the folks who pray for all the above reasons. It’s a wonderful thing to discover that those are the very motives for prayer that result in healing.
I’d love to hear other successful conversations with Christians on the subject of prayer. What works? What doesn’t work? What conversation experiences can other blog readers share?
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I’ve never ever thought about talking about prayer with people who are not Christian Scientists. This is going to be interesting…
Shirley,
I have a Catholic friend who is reading Eddy’s Science and Health, including the chapter on prayer. I have attended some interfaith conferences including representatives of her faith. We look forward to discussing prayer and other common topics.
My concept of praying has many parts to it. I love to think of learning to “dwell” in the presence of God. To me that is the highest prayer and it sends out radiating arcs of healing and forgiveness that we do not always direct. When my children were small we would go to a cabin on a small, pretty lake for a week or two each summer. I would spend as much time as I could every day on the screened in porch watching the water, our children and friends playing and generally feeling at peace. Every time we came home, some situation that had been troublesome prior to the vaction would be resolved. I feel that just acknowledging the harmony and love that surround us will adjust our lives accordingly.
I think that most people have a core of spirituality that they refer to and draw upon. Connecting to that in each other should be done carefully and with great respect for each persons individuality. Once you have made a spiritual connection with someone, the same principles that guide you to you own spirituality, love, compassion, forgiveness, can bring you closer in mutual understanding.
Something to remember, Christian Science, while it is our own spiritual home, is not always for everyone. They may not be ready for radical relience on prayer. They may ask us to pray for them and never read Science and Health. In God’s eyes, none of this matters. What matters to God is that we see past all the material laws, limits, concerns and simply “love one another”.
in overall, A convorsation with a Friend are allways a pleasure wither if the subject is “Christianity” subjects or just a general talk.