Full of good

by Catherine Hellman

Have you ever gotten so down and depressed that it is a struggle to see the light of day? Have you ever felt like you would never feel good again? Does it seem like good things happen to some people and not others?

I’ve been working through a tough relationship problem. And it made me completely depressed—I felt unhappy and worthless. It seemed like I had no value because this specific relationship problem proved that I was worthless to everyone. At least that’s how it felt.

People kept telling me how good I am and that I deserved good in my life, but I sure wasn’t feeling good. It didn’t make sense to me that I could be good when everything that I thought was right seemed to be going wrong.

While I’ve always prayed relatively easily, I was even having a hard time doing that. As a Christian Scientist, I would try to see spiritual goodness in me. But then I’d get so caught up in the experience that I’d go straight back to being depressed and not wanting to accept what I heard from God—about what was spiritually true about myself.

It dawned on me that if God made me—and I believe He’s the creator of everything—I have to be good. And God would never make anything half good. What purpose would that be, to make something half good? Why would God want to make something that would get harmed?

I know that when I make something, I don’t want it to be mediocre or destroyed to any degree. I always want my work to be good and perfect. So why would God who is completely perfect and powerful want His work to be anything other than good and perfect?

What does that mean when I’m faced with something like this relationship issue? Is it possible to see through it to God’s good? Well, it’s not always easy, but it is always possible.

One thing I’ve been thinking about is how God loves everyone involved. Just as our parents never stop loving us, God never has stopped loving any of His children because He is our Father—our real parent. He is right there loving and supporting each and every one of us. And that love supports the good in any situation.

As I prayed with these thoughts, it became clearer to me that I am valued, that I am good. I deserve goodness because that is only what God wants for me—goodness and happiness!

I thought about my job as a witness to all of God’s glorious works. How do you do that when things seem like such a mess? Well, you’ve got to turn from the human picture and use your spiritual sense to see what’s really going on. I started to thank God for providing me with all this good and I found that doing that helped me to allow good into my thought and experience. Being grateful for spiritual good does not mean that we are content with an inharmonious human experience. It means we’re working towards full freedom and healing.

My negative thinking had been bringing me down because I chose to think that I was not of value, but I now know that is not true! I am of value and I choose to love God and love His creation! I choose Life and Love. I have so much to be grateful for and I am going to express my gratitude by living and loving, no matter how hard it can seem at times!

How do you choose to think? What do you choose to fill your thought with? These are the kinds of questions I’m thinking about now. I want to keep my thought in line with what I want to express: God and His goodness.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 28th, 2008 at 8:22 am and is filed under Depression. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.