by Tim Heinemann
I am writing from the Thailand-Burma border where I’m working with ethnic Karen hill tribe resistance leaders. These brave men, women, and youth leaders are trying to protect their village people from attacks from the Burmese dictator’s army. My path here has been an interesting spiritual journey, one that continues to test my understanding of how to experience the full power of Christian Science at jungle level.
As a retired Special Forces soldier just coming back from the Iraq War in 2003, I was somewhat lost as to what to do next with my life. I bought an RV and roamed the great American Northwest finally winding up on a beach in Southern California. But the search for the perfect place-paradise-had proved a failure.
I had drifted from Christian Science branch church participation, but not from Christian Science, which had long been my armor as a soldier serving in two wars and in crisis situations around the world. I now found myself on the beach one morning with an old friend who had partnered with me years ago in starting the CSO (Christian Science Organization) at George Mason University. I took my friend’s kind advice that day as we strolled, and for the first time in years attended a small Christian Science Society in a little building by some railroad tracks.
I remember the First Reader that Wednesday evening took one of the hymns printed on paper, folded it into an airplane and threw it to someone who needed a copy in the back row. The warmth of this little group was overwhelming. For so long I had felt very alone and out in the cold so this was really wonderful to me. The testimonies that fall evening shook me from the idea that my RV travels would somehow lead me to “the right place.” Prayer now revealed that I was searching for “right purpose.” A major “Duh!”
Within a year I found myself serving as a volunteer cameraman on a mobile humanitarian relief team working in a disputed zone inside Burma. Here that little Christian Science Society so far away was backing me in powerful ever-present prayer. And I saw its effects. There were just too many consistent good “coincidences” happening for it to be luck.
This new experience opened my eyes to the suffering of oppressed people and the challenges of just what to do at a personal level. My military career had been devoted to the Special Forces motto: de oppresso liber. That means: “Free the oppressed”. Without military organization and fire power, I now faced this familiar old challenge and it caused me to rely on a very old friend in the form of prayer…the prayer of affirmation that Mary Baker Eddy speaks of in Science and Health.
When I returned to the United States after my volunteer stint, I got a report from just south of the region I had just left. A Burmese army battalion of several hundred men had just attacked a village, taken a young girl of twelve years old, raped her and then murdered her before burning the entire village to the ground. I was so furious at this image of man’s inhumanity to man that I cannot now accurately describe this to you. It felt like I was mentally on fire-and not in a good way. The feeling of white-hot hate was overwhelming…something I had never felt before even while in the middle of war. I immediately put all I owned in storage and moved back to the region to live on the border, convinced that something had to be done. My single purpose was revenge. And lots of it.
I leaned on old military methods from my past and journeyed back over high mountain ranges to meet with military commanders. One night I tumbled, exhausted, into a villager’s bamboo hut at the base of a mountain just crossed. I was struck by the native innocence of this man and his two young sons who took care of me with a tender warmth I had never known before. I hid out with them through the day. This put them in great danger, as I was now well behind enemy lines. This simple act of kindness would have cost them their lives if Burmese army forces had discovered it. It didn’t matter to them. They acted completely selflessly.
After leaving them the next evening to travel under cover of darkness, the two little boys chased me down with the sun fast falling behind high mountains. An outstretched hand presented me with a small bag of raisins that I had mistakenly left behind in their hut. I was immeasurably touched. Here these two little fellows, who were little more than skin and bones, had the native impulse to do only that which was right and good.
I was reminded immediately of a passage from Science and Health that speaks of doing what is right and never fearing the consequences. This idea had long been the driving theme in my life and it was now demonstrated before me in the form of these two stout hearts living on the very edge of survival. It was a powerful message to me.
Here in this deep jungle valley I faced two images of man. On the one hand, there was the object of my coming revenge: brutal, murderous man. On the other hand, I saw the image of pure and innocent children. As I now prayed, it disturbed me that I myself was becoming more like the first image. My desire for revenge was driven by animal impulse, instead of by spiritual inspiration. This stopped me in my tracks.
I realized that I had to make up my mind then and there as to the real identity of man-all men, women and children. The Bible clearly teaches that we cannot serve two masters, we cannot believe in both good and evil. I knew I would not progress if I did not face this single challenge, one that we all must face no matter where we live.
But how? I found the answer in the two great Commandments that Christ Jesus gave. “Thou shalt love the lord they God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all thy mind” (Matt 22:37) meant to me that I needed to see all things through the lens of some of the synonyms of God: Principle, Mind, Soul, Spirit, Life, Truth, Love. They are the only real basis of power and authority. And then I needed to trust in these in my actions.
The second Commandment, “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matt 22:39) meant to me that the power of these two little boys’ goodness (the power of Love) was infinitely more powerful than the military firepower driven by hate. I knew this. I had witnessed it too often before in war zones and crisis regions around the world. “…Love (God) is the Liberator…” as Mrs Eddy clearly states (My 268:23). I didn’t doubt it.
Since that moment several years ago in that valley of decision, I have taken a rather different journey than expected. Along the way I met and married another Christian Scientist, who was on her own soul-searching journey working with native communities in Africa. She happened to come from that same little Christian Science Society by the railroad tracks. We honeymooned in a conflict zone inside Burma doing humanitarian work, and are now partners together in a humanitarian non-profit organization. And my Christian Science friend on the beach? She is the organization’s Vice President. It is a rugged way, now made bright by devoted branch church friends who partner with us in Burma to “free the oppressed.” I will share with you in coming months some examples of Christian Science in action on this special journey in the hope that it may help you on your own spiritual journey.
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Wow — thanks for sharing these experiences!
Thank you for this really inspiring report. It is a good example of Choose ye this day whom you will serve (don’t know the exact quote)
As a fellow member of your little church by the railroad tracks, I’m touched to learn, from your blog, about your life’s journey and how it led to your current mission. I love that your innate desire is to help free the oppressed — and that in order to do that properly and fully, you first had to allow divine Love to free you from the oppression of feeling vengeful.
The verse Amanda thought of (it’s Joshua 24:15 for all you who don’t have time to look it up) is beautifully fitting,
The idea that popped into my thought comes from Mary Baker Eddy’s Message for 1901, page 20, lines 6-8: “Christian Science gives neither moral right nor might to harm either man or beast.” That’s the truth
the precious villager and his sons who hid you were loving and living! It’s the truth you are now loving and living daily! So it’s got to be the truth for every other child of God (Love), whether they’re aware of it yet or not!
Thanks for being one more proof in the world that “Love alone is Life” (from MBE’s poem “LOVE”).