by Judy Hedrick

I’d hit an all-time low and suicide seemed like the answer. Then I thought of one question and then another and another that led me out of the darkness.

It is very comforting to discover that God takes care of us in our darkest moments. I experienced His care when I faced a very low point in my life. I had a pile of unresolved problems. I had dropped out of graduate school, lost any sense of dominion in my work, and was unemployed. I’d also used drugs, had issues with my boyfriend, and held no clear vision of a future. I know that many face problems worse than these, but at that time things look dark to me.

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by Roger Gordon

Looking back, I think when I came to intern for The Mother Church last summer, part of me actually wanted my life to end. I didn’t know it at the time, but now I can see I was in such a state of mental darkness that I’m not sure I could have gone on that way much longer.

Let me back up. Earlier that year, the day after my 21st birthday, a girl who lived directly below me in my college dorm committed suicide. I was the House Chair of this house (we called them houses instead of dorms, and House Chair is the equivalent of Resident Advisor), so I felt responsible for her death, even though I had been completely unaware of any prior danger.

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Susie Rynerson – Christian Science Sentinel May 7, 2007

It was my junior year of college, and I’d hit bottom. I sat on the floor in the middle of my room, crying and depressed. I seriously contemplated suicide. Suicidal thoughts had come before, but this time I was drowning in all the vicious reasons why I should go ahead and do it.

How surprised people would be if they knew how I felt. On the surface, I was successful in so many ways—academically, athletically, musically. I supposedly had many reasons to be happy. And on the surface, I was. People were used to seeing my smiling face. Yet, I really felt empty and mechanical. I was drained of vitality and feeling.

The collegiate habit of talking with friends about our mammoth lists of tasks had provided more burden than comfort. A swirling list of unresolved problems—a past relationship gone bad, a severe injury that had recently taken away my ability to play sports, and a demanding college course load—made for an unhappy mix. Plus, it didn’t seem as though anyone understood who I really was. I thought maybe they’d appreciate me more when I was gone. All these things together led to an emotional impulsion toward suicide, which felt hypnotic and overwhelming. (more…)

The following appeared as an editorial commentary in the December 7, 1992, Sentinel.

Mention the name Judas and people all around the world are likely to think of one word: betrayal. What an awful legacy for an individual to have left—to be remembered for nearly two thousand years by hundreds of millions of people as a betrayer! The name Judas seems universally to call forth condemnation.

But there’s another side to the story, and it’s one that shouldn’t be lost sight of. This side calls for our compassion. Relatively few people caught enough of a glimpse of Jesus’ mission while he was here to commit themselves to close discipleship. Yet Judas was one of those few. He did make a beginning effort. But the most significant aspect of this other side of the story has to do with what happened after the betrayal. My feeling of compassion for Judas took quite a leap forward one day as I pondered Matthew’s account of the dramatic change that began to come over Judas when he saw what was happening to Jesus. Judas, according to the Gospel of Matthew, “repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders, saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood” (27:3, 4). (more…)

Reprinted from The Christian Science Monitor Saved from suicide By D. K. Simms

Any thought of suicide, whether you are a teenager, a businessperson, or a retiree, is not an answer. It may appear to offer help in your despair. But it is a lie and offers no solution.

While attending a small college years ago, I felt that there was no place in the world for me. As I sat in my room trying to decide how I would take my life, I said out loud, “There has to be a way out of this.” And instead of taking my life that evening, I went to a church service on campus, offered by a local minister.

He spoke about God being at the rudder of the ship of life, steering us through the storms of unhappiness, abuse, meanness, sadness, and whatever else felt threatening. He called prayer a life raft. He promised that God hears and answers every prayer. (more…)