Quentin The Christian Science Journal, Nov. 2006
Last year toward the end of seventh grade, a group of boys my age and younger created a rumor about me suggesting I did something very embarrassing in sixth grade. There were so many reasons why the rumor was ridiculous. But the boys thought it was amusing.
Things started to get out of hand pretty quickly, and more and more people started to make fun of me when they saw me.
Once I started eighth grade I thought that all of this was in the past, but the bullying started breaking out again midyear. It wasn’t helping my self-esteem. My concentration went down, and my grades started to drop a little.
It’s never a good idea to ignore bullying. I think it’s important to take action both physically (not by fighting, but by telling someone about it) and metaphysically. (Christian Science was one of the most helpful things I had.)
Finally I decided to report the boys to the principal. They were suspended for a few days. But when the boys came back to school, they began bullying me under the principal’s nose. And then kids started to tell me that it was stupid of me to tell on them. When they started to shove me, I wouldn’t shove back. I have a purple belt in karate, and I could hurt someone if I wanted to. But self-control is important. Fights are never the answer.
One morning when I was reading about Saul in a section of the Lesson, I thought, “Wow, if I had been a Christian then, I would have fought [Saul] back because of everything he did to them.” But then I realized if I had, it would have been the wrong decision because Saul eventually realized that what he’d done—bullying and arresting Christians—was wrong. He became a great person—the Apostle Paul—and he did great things and healed many people. He made such a big comeback.
I also talked to a Christian Science practitioner a few times about the situation at school, and I realized that it was important to see the boys who were bullying me as God’s children and to forgive them like I would have had to forgive Saul. When you forgive, great things can happen.
That helped me stop reacting to the boys. Rather than getting steamed or angry at them, like I did at first, I did my best to see them as God’s reflection. As a reflection of something, you can’t do anything the original doesn’t do. And since God is only good, these boys had to be good, even though it didn’t seem like they were.
On the last day of school, a guy who had never really bothered me before asked me in a mocking way if I’d ever done this thing that everyone said I had. I looked him straight in the eye and said, “No.” And I walked away. I didn’t make a big deal out of it as I had sometimes done. I think that really helped. Because I knew how to respond to them, or when not to respond, they didn’t get as much fun out of it anymore.
Even though some people may still find the rumor amusing, I think I left a lasting impression because I didn’t react at the end. When you have something that’s been going on for a long time, it seems like a good idea sometimes to fight back. But when you use one metaphysical thought—any thought, like the fact that we’re God’s children—it helps you know how to respond to bullying without fighting. And years from now you’ll look back and see it was a good move.
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