Stage presence

Nicole T. - The Christian Science Journal, Dec. 2007

Performing and singing in musicals are two of my favorite things to do. One reason that I love musicals so much is that they give me an opportunity to share with others my God-given talents.

All through grade school, I watched the musical productions at our high school with the hope of some day being the lead. During the first two years of high school, I was the understudy for the lead roles. In my junior year, when auditions came around for our spring musical, “Annie Get Your Gun,” I practiced the audition material until I felt fully prepared. When the cast list was posted, I was thrilled to find that the directors had cast me in the lead role of Annie.

However, within a day of hearing this good news I was bombarded by a dilemma. A girl in my school became angry because she didn’t get the lead part, which she felt she fully deserved because she was a senior. Instead, she was cast as Winnie, a secondary part. She immediately went to the directors, crying—and swearing at them—to try to get them to change their minds. But when she couldn’t get her way, she directed her anger and jealousy toward me.

When evening practices began, this girl would leave rehearsals in tears before the practice was even over. During the school day we had three classes together, and her actions, comments, and glaring looks were often disturbing to me and made me feel very sad. Soon I felt I needed to distance myself from her.

It has always been very important to me to get along with everyone. If I feel that I’m in conflict with anyone, I always listen for God’s direction and then talk to that person and work it out with them in a loving and friendly way. However, I didn’t feel that I could just go up to this girl and work things out as I had done with other people. I felt, though, that I could resolve the situation through prayer. I have learned to turn to God for help in every situation, even in my everyday relationships.

Over the next two months I prayed to keep my thoughts from being disturbed by the things I saw each day and to not react to anything the girl said or did. And at no point did I have any hateful thoughts toward her.

One of the girl’s major problems with me was that her boyfriend was cast as Frank, the lead male role. The musical is about a romance between the two main characters, Annie and Frank. During spring break, this girl was at one of the rehearsals and saw the romantic scenes her boyfriend and I were practicing. Within a day she sent me an e-mail on MySpace threatening to make my life a nightmare if I didn’t stop acting romantic on stage with her boyfriend. Evidently, she thought my acting was too believable. She didn’t understand that the directors had instructed me to act that way with him.

After reading the girl’s e-mail, I told my parents about it, and they decided to tell the directors of the musical. I was hesitant about telling the directors because I didn’t know what the girl would do to me if she found out that I had told on her. The news about her e-mail went from the directors straight to the school principal, but nobody did anything to solve the situation. At that point, I felt I couldn’t depend on the teachers and the principal for my safety.

In the past, whenever I have felt worried or fearful, I’ve turned to the 91st Psalm in the Bible. Once again, I found this psalm extremely helpful. The two verses that helped me most were: “He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler” and “Thou shalt not be afraid for the terror by night; nor for the arrow that flieth by day” (verses 4, 5). When thinking about these two verses, I felt comfort in the symbolism that compares God to a mother bird protecting her young. The wings symbolize, to me, divine power. By trusting that power, I too am protected from harm. The shield and buckler represent defensive armor that can’t be pierced by “arrows” such as angry thoughts or glares.

I read the 91st Psalm every morning before school and kept it constantly in mind. Whenever I felt unsure or fearful, I referred to a piece of paper I carried with me where I had written some of my favorite prayerful thoughts. As a result of consistent and devoted prayer, my fears began to dissolve.

By the date of the first performance, I felt confident and ready. That night on stage I felt an amazing sense of comfort. As part of the show, Winnie (played by the girl who had been harassing me offstage) is to hand me a blank note. However, on the last day of the performance, she handed me a piece of paper with a very threatening message written on the corner, unlike the blank paper I had expected. I read it, but I wasn’t fazed at all. I continued saying my lines like nothing was wrong. Even though she tried to mess me up and disrupt the show, I wasn’t frightened anymore.

Once I got off stage, I told my parents and the directors about the note, and the school principal suspended the girl for two days. The school year ended peacefully without any threatening behavior from her or her friends.

As I took my final bow on stage as Annie the last performance night, I smiled—not because the stress of everything was over at that exact moment, but because I had found a sense of dominion over fear and intimidation. I knew that fear—in fact, absolutely nothing—could ever separate me from God’s protection. And most of all, nothing could separate me from God’s love. That feeling of calm was the ultimate moment of triumph for me and brought back the true joy of performing.

This entry was posted on Monday, May 26th, 2008 at 9:15 am and is filed under Fear, Safety. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response.