Sarah Andrews - The Christian Science Journal, Dec. 2007
I love the idea that God created us to fulfill a divine purpose, that God has appointed each of us to serve Him in a unique way, and that He needs us to do His work. But sometimes it can seem easy to fall into the trap of believing that we’re just not that special.
The work that God created us to do is summed up in the two great commandments given to us by Christ Jesus. The first: “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind” (Matt. 22:37). And the second: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matt. 22:39). Recently, as I’ve tried to understand how I can show my love for God, I’ve realized I can best demonstrate it through my love for humanity. We fulfill the divine purpose for which God created us when we truly love our neighbor. However, I have found that a false sense of identity can severely limit our ability to recognize just how much God loves us and how much He needs us to radiate that divine love.
Throughout middle school and high school, I really struggled with a lack of self-confidence and self-worth. And this low view of my value darkened my mental atmosphere. My sense of self-doubt affected my daily interactions in numerous ways. I found it difficult to make friends and usually couldn’t think of a single reason that anyone would want to be my friend. I also became very nervous about participating in class and would have to force myself to do so. Despite all the good going on in my life, thoughts of how worthless I was dominated my thinking.
However, I grew up with a strong foundation of relying on prayer for healing, through both the Christian Science Sunday School and the example of my family, and so I knew the only solution was to turn to God. I prayed every day the best way I knew how during those teen years to gain a clearer understanding of my identity as God’s child, but the idea that I was someone with very little social confidence was so entrenched in my thought that I wasn’t making any progress. During my senior year of high school, I hit a low point mentally, and the summer after I graduated I knew that something really had to change.
That summer I attended counselor training at a Christian Science summer camp, and our director gave a talk on Jesus’ second commandment about loving your neighbor as yourself. The director said that if we were to truly love others with a pure, healing love, we had to learn to love ourselves first. That if we didn’t love ourselves, the love we showed to others would be tainted with a selfish desire for acceptance. I knew that in order to do my job well that summer—to love the campers and to see them as God does—I would have to learn to love myself.
One evening at camp, during quiet time set aside for prayer, I was really listening and thinking about this idea of learning to love myself. Suddenly, I got an overwhelming sense that I was loved and accepted by God. The idea came with such incredible clarity that it was as if I was being spoken to. I now recognize that this inspiration was actually God communicating His love for me. It was an instantaneous healing of the darkness that had clouded my mentality for years!
After that summer, I began college and went on to have a fulfilling four-year experience, completely free from any feelings of self-doubt. I had the confidence to fill positions in campuswide organizations and found it very natural to actively take part in all my classes. Today I have many wonderful and lasting friendships for which I am very grateful. I recently realized just how complete this healing was when I included it in a talk I gave at my college two years ago. Afterwards, several members of the community came up and said they couldn’t imagine that I had ever been the shy, self-conscious person I had described.
This experience taught me that when we realize that divine Love is the source of our identity, we are free to serve God in the unique way He has appointed. As the full reflection of infinite Love, we can’t be anything less than fully confident, loving, joyful, and peaceful. And when we recognize ourselves for who we truly are—as the beloved of God—we are able to obey Jesus’ two great commandments and find ourselves being “the light of the world” (Matt. 5:14).
The carnal mind always opposes the light of Truth and would love to prevent us from doing God’s work by trying to convince us that we are unloved and unworthy (see Romans 8:7). However, the Christ is constantly communicating to us how much God loves us, and in reality, nothing can prevent us from being touched by that simple message. When we persist in listening for that truth, and hear it, we are able to serve God and our neighbor freely and selflessly.
Sarah Andrews now volunteers with the Peace Corps in Burkina Faso and works with local farmers in the agribusiness sector.
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