Liz Duffy - Adapted from The Christian Science Journal, April, 2007
During my teen years I faced emotional setbacks, which made me confused about God’s role in my life. I was very shy and within myself, and I had low self-esteem. I didn’t really talk to anyone except my close friends, and my friends weren’t always high quality. In middle school, my parents divorced. Although I was glad they weren’t living together any more, I was still angry and resentful toward them and also toward my three older siblings. At the beginning of high school, I had a brief bout with anorexia and continued to obsess over my weight and physical appearance. Later, I got a taste of smoking, drinking, and physical relationships.
When I was 15, my mom met and married our stepdad. I recently learned that at the time my mom had been doing a lot of behind-the-scenes praying for our family, and an immense amount of good came into my life very quickly. I was curious about where all this good came from. As I reflect on this now, I am certain that the wonderful opportunities that opened up to me, like going to a Christian Science boarding school and camp, and later to a great college, were all from God, the source of all good—and not just coincidences.
Yet, being raised in Christian Science did not automatically make me a Christian Scientist, although it inspired me to be one. I’d attended Christian Science Sunday Schools, private schools, and camps by choice, but for a long time I resisted turning to God. I believed He and I couldn’t have a relationship. I thought prayer worked for others, but not for me. Eventually, I learned how God teaches and loves me, and I decided to make Christian Science my own.
I had been really impressed by what my siblings had done—how they had turned their lives around with spiritual help, especially my middle sister. Her swift change for the better inspired me. The summer after my junior year at boarding school, my oldest sister encouraged me to attend a Christian Science camp as a CIT (counselor-in-training). At camp they had a lot of time for thinking and praying and gratitude, and there was a lot of real, spiritual love going around. For the first time, I saw myself as God’s child—His pure expression. This inspired me to study Christian Science on my own.
I began by simply reading Christian Science Sentinel magazines, focusing on the healing sections. And for the first time, I called a Christian Science practitioner and asked her to pray for me. When I called (we talked many times), I was so surprised that she had some immediate thoughts to share with me. I bought a spiral-bound Science and Health for constant reference and highlighted helpful quotes, such as my favorite,
Happiness is spiritual, born of Truth and Love. It is unselfish; therefore it cannot exist alone, but requires all mankind to share it (p. 57)
I would remember this passage in moments of shyness or sadness. It motivated me to get out of thinking so much about myself. Mrs. Eddy’s words “cannot exist alone” helped me understand that keeping my joy to myself was selfish, whereas sharing joy and love with others is following the Golden Rule.
By the time I went to art school (college), I had changed significantly. In fact, my stepdad, who is just learning about Christian Science, is in awe of how much and how quickly I changed. I had gained more confidence in myself and was healed of the intense shyness. I made a pact with myself to choose Christian Science to get me through the next four years of school. In the first two years, the few times my thoughts went in a sensuous direction, I had quick reminders that spiritual substance gives me more joy than indulging in short-lived pleasures.
For example, one day after I’d been out partying the night before, one of my sisters called and asked me to help her with a physical problem through prayer. My thoughts returned to God. I wanted to feel His pure, healing thoughts as I spoke to my sister. At that moment, I realized that being able to help others was more important to me than drinking, which I now see as self-centered. Drinking also focuses your thoughts on getting satisfaction from matter—from alcohol—rather than from Spirit, God. It’s difficult to heal spiritually when matter-based pleasure is your focus.
Recently, I’ve been working to build a life full of spiritual substance. I study the Bible and Mary Baker Eddy’s writings regularly, and I’m grateful for the daily baptism—the purification of thought—that comes from this study. It renews me each day.
Today I am free of my long list of emotional setbacks from my youth. My relationships with my family and friends have elevated to a joyful level, and I have an enriching God-based love for all of them.
Gratitude for the good I already have plays a big role in my continual blessings. One of the blessings has been my recent membership in a local Christian Science branch church a few blocks from my college campus. I’ll be ushering in church, and I’ve already begun teaching an inner-city teen in Sunday School. She also needs help in math and reading, and I’ve been asked if I’d like to tutor her after church in the Sunday School. I know that God wants me to love and support others in the same unconditional way that He loves and supports me. The more I know God, the better I can love others. Being able to help and heal others is definitely worth the effort of working on my relationship with Him. The more it benefits me, too. Great opportunities open up, and I have all kinds of healings—some that I don’t even expect. This happened last term as I studied and prayed the whole semester. I had my most successful term yet—no all-nighters!
As I look back, making Christian Science my own was the most important decision I have ever made.
Liz Duffy is a junior at the School of the Art Institute
of Chicago.
that is soooo awesome!! my sister had a turn around somewhat like this…
i have to say making CS one’s own is the BEST important decision ever!!! :]
Great site dude
This is great! A really inspiring post! Also good to know that your Mum’s silent prayers in the background were helping to work things through for you, too.
Thanks for posting