Garrett Fielding - Adapted from the Christian Science Sentinel, Oct. 9, 2007.
The bullying started with name-calling and basketball stealing on the courts at lunchtime. Then my group of fellow eighth-grade friends began picking on almost anyone from the lower grades who crossed their path.
I was disappointed my friends were making the basketball courts such a miserable place to be. And although I wasn’t participating in their bullying, I felt embarrassed to hang out with these guys. It seemed like they were copying a group of eighth graders from the year before who had also wanted to prove their “power” simply because of their age. Even though I didn’t want to lose my friends, separating myself from them for a while seemed like the right thing to do.
I decided to pray for God’s guidance and for the courage to face this situation each day at school. For me, prayer has always been a reliable and consistent way to solve any problem. In the Christian Science Sunday School class I attend, we often talk about how God made us all naturally loving and full of integrity, as His reflections. I thought about the God-given qualities that my friends naturally expressed, such as love, compassion, kindness, respect, and mercy. I also knew it wasn’t my job to fix my friends’ behavior—I just needed to correct how I was thinking about them. I didn’t want to label them as bullies, because normally they were really friendly guys.
When I discussed this situation with my mom, she mentioned how important it is to lead by example. I thought about Jesus as the ultimate example to follow, and was inspired by this quote from the Bible, where he said, “And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me” (John 12:32). Jesus’ thought was so filled with Christly love that people were naturally drawn to his teachings of compassion. So I thought I could let my actions at school reflect this same Christly love. Then I could trust that people would appreciate and respond to this, too—including my friends.
I read the Bible story of Saul, who later became known as Paul. Saul acted like a bully. He felt justified in persecuting the Christians, until Christ literally stopped him in his tracks. A bright light blinded him. Then, a few days later, his sight was restored when his whole attitude and outlook changed. The Bible explains: “And immediately there fell from his eyes as it had been scales: and he received sight forthwith, and arose, and was baptized” (Acts 9:18). Once Saul became open-minded to Jesus’ message of God’s love for humanity, he also became an avid student and teacher of Christianity. This story reminded me that God is communicating with everyone all the time. No matter what mistakes we’ve made in the past—big or small—if we listen to these messages from God, anyone can change for the better.
These ideas encouraged me. During lunchtime, I decided to join a table of sixth and seventh graders I knew from theater and academic classes. I really enjoyed their company and it was good to feel like I wasn’t limited to hanging out with only one group of friends. For the next few weeks, I continued to spend time with these new guys, and kept praying to see my eighth-grade friends as God saw them—naturally kind.
At first, my friends didn’t say anything to me about my new place in the cafeteria; they just kept to themselves. But before long, one of them asked me why I was sitting with sixth and seventh graders. I simply explained that I thought of the other students as my friends, too, and it didn’t matter to me that they were younger. He didn’t really react much, and just walked away.
A few days later, my friends started coming up to me a few at a time during lunch, telling me that they felt bad that they had been acting—as they said—”like jerks.” I was glad they acknowledged their bullying, but, more important, I was grateful that prayer had helped me see them as all-around nice guys, not as bullies.
We all started playing basketball at lunch again, and soon my friends even invited the sixth and seventh graders to join our games. I realized this was their way of apologizing to anyone they had picked on. At first, the younger guys were reluctant to play, but once they saw that my friends were sincere, they jumped right in. Lunchtime felt relaxed and fun again—and the bullying stopped.
Even though I’m now a freshman in high school in a different state, I still see these guys on my school vacations, and keep in touch with them over e-mail. This experience strengthened my confidence in standing up for what’s right, and trusting prayer to help with anything that comes up in my life. I also have even more appreciation for the Christly qualities within everyone. Sometimes seeing these qualities in action is as easy as sitting at a new table in the cafeteria.
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Good for you, man. When I was in eighth grade, I was one of the bully kids. (It wasn’t until I got to college, actually, that I came to better terms with myself and stopped making fun of others.) Those bully kids were very fortunate to have been on the receiving end of your prayers. The fact that they started being nicer to the sixth and seventh graders meant that they were feeling better about themselves. And, of course, the sixth and seventh graders must have thought you were awesome. What a cool thing you did!